What Am I Seeing?
I look around my room, and each item seems to be many, layered, like an onion and quivering with energy. Each piece is telling me how it feels, how it remembers where it came from, what has happened to it, how it suffered in the process of becoming from what it was, to what it is now, and I feel guilty that all this suffering was done on my behalf.
I feel my book case is still missing the tree from which it was separated and it is struggling to contain the weight of books and files with which it is loaded and though it understands how useful it is to me, it feels proud also to be using its strength, not to lets its origin down. I thank the bookcase.
I look at the brass fire canopy and feel how it was wrenched for the earth, torched by fire and beaten to produce something of beauty for me, and I feel guilty for the process, but I know that it also feels the energy of my love for it and the core which has been used for it in the past, and I hope it feels a little better.
I feel the energy of the sheepskin fleece on which I am sitting and I am connected with the sheep and all its relations, and I feel the years of living in the species, and the dedication of its life to use of mankind – and I feel grateful to it and to all animals for the help and comfort and survival we have had for so long, I hope my energy is feeing back into all animals, and helping them a little also.
I see people everywhere, and I am seeing the outside they present to the world, and the clothes they choose to wear, and how they need to belong, and I am seeing how alone they really are, how they walk the tightrope of independence and dependency. How they close their eyes to a tomorrow of fear and pain and how they use love as a shield and a barrier against their fears. But love cannot be used in this way, t can only be given as a gift, with no thought o wish for return, for love cannot be contained or given as contract – it must be set free to go its own way, and my not return to you – for it was not created to be returned, as a payment for loving, it was created as a gift to be given to all, even the most unworthy in your eyes, for inside each recipient is a gap in the soul, a gap where courage and fear dwell inside, and which is crying out for a touch of love, to reassure that there will be enough courage in the face of adversity.
I see the souls of people who have failed in their own eyes, and I see the shame they feel when they have given into a temptation they knew they should have resisted.
I feel the longing for love and forgiveness in spite of their sins, and how rarely it is received, as we judge each other so harshly, going by appearances and reputation, and fuelled sometimes by jealousy, envy, and self righteousness, usually underserved!
I see the results of bad actions, the motivations which cause the actions, and I now that those actions stared in unfaithfulness and in being unloved, (by others and by self), and I know that happy people do good things, for themselves and for others.
I am seeing a world without a protective skin, and the seething energy beneath is completely inter-related, so that all is one and so we must learn to share.